Happy Because:

I can paddle again.  Sure it's raining, and the channel behind our house is filled with rack from a storm and I couldn't actually get out to the river if I tried, but I can technically paddle again.  For a little while, before my chest gets too tired and starts to cramp.  (Trust me, you DO NOT want a boobie cramp.  Seriously - so. weird.)

I have amazingly good insurance.

I do not have to work.  There is no worry about where grocery money will come from or about how I'm going to pay my deductible for that awesome insurance.  Now that is something to be happy about.

I booked both the July 4th at the lake AND Christmas in Jamaica vacations!  Both with good friends.  Can't wait to sip a (small due to calories) drink and enjoy some plain old fun.

I Do Not have cancer.  And it left with a 1 way ticket, so I have no plans to have it visit ever again.

I have new boobs.  And while they are currently just tissue expanders, the real, softer than my natural ones implants will be inserted sometime in late July/early August.  And while I'm at it, discussions of fat removal on my thighs has begun.  I mean, you know, if I'm going to be under at the plastic surgeons office, why not wake up with new boobs AND without those horrid, hereditary saddle bags that have plagued me all my life.  I mean, seriously, I have to lose TWENTY pounds before those suckers go away.  And I'm not a big girl.  20lbs would make me a weak tooth pick.  But they've only disappeared once in my adulthood, and that took strict calorie counting and excessive wake boarding.  That makes me tired just thinking about it.  It's not like I don't already work out like crazy and eat healthy foods.  That's why god created plastic surgeons with lipo machines.

It's a quiet, rainy day at home today.  Perfect for reading or blogging or watching movies and cleaning house.    But it's Monday, so most people will have to work.  Not me :)   I'm off to read and clean house and watch a movie and have lunch with a great friend.  So see?  Happiness is always easy.  You just have to think about it a bit more some days.  :)

Very brief rant...

...because sometimes we just have to indulge ourselves.

I have realized that not only am I missing the summer semester, but I will now be missing the Fall semester of culinary school - due to this  that stupid cancer.  (It's gone, so it will now and forever be referred to in the past tense.)

I STILL cannot work out to my previous levels.  Far from it.  This means I have had to cut down on what/how much I eat to try to staunch the weight gain.  I am not happy when I must restrict my food choices.

I'm tired of not being able to sleep on my side or stomach.

I'm tired of phantom pains in my rock hard boobies.  (long gone are my rock hard abs.  Ok, so "rock hard" is a bit strong for my abs of March, but you get the idea.)

I'm tired of getting tired when I've basically done nothing but be a housewife all day.

I'm tired of this rain that keeps me from walking miles or sitting by the pool on these never ending obligation free days.

Tired of wondering when I'll be able to teach again.  (sure, I'm teaching 1 day per week for the next 3 weeks for my Seniors, but don't even get me started on how tired I get after that class these days.)

Too late.  Now I'm started.  I get tired from my SENIOR CHAIR class.  Seriously.  It kicks my butt.  What used to be my "break" is now my exercise.  Urgh.

I'm tired of feeling guilty for not being perfectly happy 100% of the time because all I needed was 3 surgeries instead of chemo/radiation/tamoxifen.  YOU try having 3+ surgeries and then we'll chat about how grateful I should be.

I'm tired of my skin breaking out and knowing that there is not, and never will be a fix for it again since the cancer was stupid hormone receptive cancer and the break out is due to my now and forever more unbalanced hormones.

And now I've made myself tired of myself with this rant.  Time to write one for all the things I'm happy about.

Whur's all muh peeps?

Suuuuure, I haven't been blogging.  But YOU GUYS are still supposed to be blogging.  How can I stalk you if you don't blog?  You know who you are.  :)