Very brief rant...

...because sometimes we just have to indulge ourselves.

I have realized that not only am I missing the summer semester, but I will now be missing the Fall semester of culinary school - due to this  that stupid cancer.  (It's gone, so it will now and forever be referred to in the past tense.)

I STILL cannot work out to my previous levels.  Far from it.  This means I have had to cut down on what/how much I eat to try to staunch the weight gain.  I am not happy when I must restrict my food choices.

I'm tired of not being able to sleep on my side or stomach.

I'm tired of phantom pains in my rock hard boobies.  (long gone are my rock hard abs.  Ok, so "rock hard" is a bit strong for my abs of March, but you get the idea.)

I'm tired of getting tired when I've basically done nothing but be a housewife all day.

I'm tired of this rain that keeps me from walking miles or sitting by the pool on these never ending obligation free days.

Tired of wondering when I'll be able to teach again.  (sure, I'm teaching 1 day per week for the next 3 weeks for my Seniors, but don't even get me started on how tired I get after that class these days.)

Too late.  Now I'm started.  I get tired from my SENIOR CHAIR class.  Seriously.  It kicks my butt.  What used to be my "break" is now my exercise.  Urgh.

I'm tired of feeling guilty for not being perfectly happy 100% of the time because all I needed was 3 surgeries instead of chemo/radiation/tamoxifen.  YOU try having 3+ surgeries and then we'll chat about how grateful I should be.

I'm tired of my skin breaking out and knowing that there is not, and never will be a fix for it again since the cancer was stupid hormone receptive cancer and the break out is due to my now and forever more unbalanced hormones.

And now I've made myself tired of myself with this rant.  Time to write one for all the things I'm happy about.